When I lie in bed and not able to sleep is usually because I’ve done something wrong that’s so stupid and was corrected over it. And trying to blame everyone but myself. I’m so stupid to let this stupid thing ruin my entire weekend and put me back in the funk. Where I just want to lose myself in my anger. I am ridiculous at self loathing. I’m so tired of it and one day I feel like it will get the better of me. 

But I can’t let it. I have others to think about. I need to see where all of this shit takes me. So I will. Endure. By finding strength somewhere in the morning. 

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